hazelnut. in room 229 at approximately 6:20pm on wednesday, october 25, 2006. i picked it up. while engaged in conversation with a classmate, I absently rolled it between my fingers. i dug my thumbnail into its body, inadvertently bisecting the object. but I put it back together and left it on the lefthand corner of the chalkboard at the back of the room. please claim it if you lost it.


tinydiagram said...

this was originally sent out as a random emailed missive. several equally surreal responses ensued, to my great enjoyment. below are some responses:

1. thanks for the heads up.

tinydiagram said...

2. Oh, thank goodness. I'd meant to stuff it into my cheek in preparation for
the upcoming winter, but in the rush of it all I must have dropped it.

Could you do me a huge favor and, if you see it again, deposit it in a safe
little burrow from whence I can dig it up when the frosts are upon us?
Thanks so much.

3. oh, it was the fer's? dammit! i can't for the life of me find mine. i'm such a spaceboy. i just
know i'm going to be so hungry now, i just know it. maybe i left it in the dark place.

4. well, just because she claimed it *doesn't* prove it was hers. i have yet to see proof. for all i know, there's a rash of lost filberts in davis.

5. good point. see how i go right to gloom? maybe it's because i'm really hungry. and i was really
disturbed by that matthew barney piece, "The Fagales Order"- i always get the creeps when i
walk through a birch grove now.

6. But Birch groves provide wonderful places to bury nuts! I always think of
such groves as larders.

tinydiagram said...


white t-shirts
smart wool socks in large


tinydiagram said...

8. if you find another one, i recommend planting it. then you can offer
forlorn nut owner a freshie. some patience involved.
hybrid or heirloom are factors in authenticity.
time capsule return.

tinydiagram said...

9. How do you know it wasn't some creature's fecal dropping? Did you taste it?

10. I smelled it.

11. do u smell every nugget found on the ground?
Can't poop smell sort of hazelnutty? This raises questions about Nutella...

tinydiagram said...

12. found

Wiped under chair in studio 8 during Charles Boone lecture
Dark brown with red highlights, surrounded by yellowish-clear mucous.
Find it under the chair with the Velvet Underground sticker and "edible" tag
in green sharpie

tinydiagram said...

13. I think I probably would have eaten it had I come across it. Hazelnuts are
mighty tasty.